Father: The protector, the provider

It is the duty of both parents, mothers, and fathers to raise well-mannered children. Love, affection, tenderness, and care are often associated with mothers; however, fathers also exhibit these traits in different ways. “Dad: A son’s first hero, a daughter’s first love” is often a quote that we come across on Father’s Day. Celebrating and respecting fathers is not just once per year; rather, it is a year-round practice. As in Islam, respecting parents, whether mother or father, is an integral part of being a Muslim. More often in the Quran, after ordering the people to worship Allah alone, He often mentions being good to the parents. As in the verse, “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment” (17:23). Since they have been the ones to look after him since he was a child, a mother carries the child for nine months in her womb despite her struggle, after that she weans him for two years. A father, on the other hand, plays a different role by supporting his wife emotionally and financially to bear her responsibility. Just as much as the value of a mother’s love and affection is discussed, so too is the love and affection of a father.

The first obligation of a father is to take care of his household, which implies that he is responsible for both the material and spiritual needs of the family. Allah addresses the Qur’an verse to them by saying “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is people and stones” (66:6). In spite of their workload, burden, and tiredness, they take their time to pray, advise the families to pray. It is because of the care, and love he has for his family to be protected from the hellfire. Often, in Ramadan, if not all but many Muslim women stay under the shade of a roof, yet they might complain about tiredness and thirst. However, men, the father and the husband who work outside have to bear both the sweltering heat, heavy workload, and the hardships associated with fasting. It is all a result of his realization that he has obligations to both his Lord and his family. Most of the families have food on their plate because of the hard work of a father. How can someone repay a father for that?

Spending time with children and his wife is another important topic. A father who comes home from work even if it is a little time, brings his children to the park to play despite his exhaustion and other issues. Despite his psychological mood, he ignores his fatigue in favor of his children’s happiness. How can one show love more than this? As the quote goes “A father doesn’t tell you that he loves you. He shows you.” It is frequently he who brings the kids outside to relax, to play, to eat and he is the one who buys the kids toys and snacks. It is always very thrilling for children to see their dad coming home just to see what he brings for them.

“A dad is someone who wants to catch you when you fall. Instead, he picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again.” This quote demonstrates the way fathers react to the obstacles of children. Mothers are known to offer security and comfort. However, we can frequently notice fathers rough-and-tumble play with kids. It is not something that shows the severity and dominance of fathers in his household, rather it helps the child’s development. It is said that father’s play helps the child to prepare for a life outside of one’s comfort of home, a character of resilience as one cannot expect society to treat everyone as a mother treats her children. He is often the figure when a family is in trouble, the members turn for comfort and security. The presence of a manly figure gives them a sense of security and protection from problems. Yet, he doesn’t showcase his vulnerability, or his fear rather he remains unwavering in his resolve to shield his family from any harm.

Hence, it is important to recognize the sacrifice a father makes despite his health, despite the time spent on the needs of his family. He works and provides the needs, safety, security, love, and affection. Hence, As Muslim women, it is important to give respect and reverence to our fathers. In Islam that reverence goes to the extent of treating one’s fathers’s loved ones with respect, “Abdullah b. Umar reported Allah’s Apostle ﷺ as saying: “The finest act of goodness is that a person should treat the loved ones of his father kindly” (Muslim: 32, 6193). Father’s love and sacrifice are beyond one can imagine, a person can only truly comprehend them as they become older, understanding the bigger role he played in erecting a well-mannered, respectful family. 

• By Bint Ahamed Ali